Should I or Shouldn't I Go to the Funeral?

By: Tom Gallagher
Monday, March 21, 2016

Should I or shouldn't I go to the funeral? This can be a very tough question to answer considering all the possible variables. One thing is for sure, no matter what the conditions, you have to be sure that you are confident in your decision to attend a funeral.

The first factor is the obvious one. Unless the obituary says it’s a private service, then the public should be welcome. Some families are private and don’t want a packed church or funeral home, so if the service is private, you must respect that. You can still send the family flowers, or a card expressing your condolences as they may appreciate your thoughts in the privacy of their own home.

Funerals today range from being ritualistic to being extremely informal; this is all decided on by the family. If you’re afraid of being uncomfortable, try not to let that stop you from going on its own. The person leading the funeral will direct mourners, where necessary.

Your Ex-Spouse

When you find out your former spouse has passed away, it may bring back all the happy memories you shared. Making a decision whether to attend the service honoring the passing of an ex-wife or ex-husband can be tough. The same can be said for a family member of your ex-husband or ex-wife. What do you do?

  • If there are no ill feelings with the family, and you merely drifted your own ways, then there is nothing wrong in attending the funeral. After all, this is done in memory of the years spent together or the children you shared. You may need to be there for the sake of your kids too.
     
  • If you know or feel that your presence would be upsetting to the family of the deceased, or they might have a difficult time putting hard feelings aside, then simply send a card or flowers.
     
  • If your relationship was rocky toward the end, then steer clear of any topics that could be considered derogatory or mean-spirited about the deceased, even if it’s true.

Former Friends

The same conditions can be said here as with an ex-spouse. If you know or feel that your presence would cause a problem, then opt for flowers, a card or donation instead.

Bottom line, if you feel your presence at the funeral can help support the family of the deceased, and it is not a private funeral, and you feel you want to attend, then go. If you have any doubts at all then it may be best you send your condolences via a card and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the letters you see in the image.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

A Celebration of Life vs. Funerals

People have different ways to honor the passing of their loved ones, depending on tradition and preference. Funerals, memorial services, a celebration of life, wakes etc. provide people with closur...

Personalizing a Funeral with Unique Song Selections

Many families have moved away from the traditional and formal structure of funeral services. They want to add something that gives it a personal touch and also makes the process more comfortable as...

Technology and Your Grief Journey

Today, technology has infiltrated every aspect of modern living. In fact, it has also transformed the way in which people deal with the loss of a loved one and cope with their grief. Over the last ...

Memorial Ideas for Veterans

People who were an active part of military service or served in the armed forces deserve a beautiful memorial service. They deserve recognition, honor, and respect, which is why memorial services m...

What Goes Into the Expense of a Standard Funeral?

Most people aren’t familiar with the planning involved or expenses involved in the funeral process. They simply accept what a funeral director or home tells them because they have no time to conduc...

How Can You Help A Friend As They Go Through The Stages Of Grief?

Grieving is a painful process that affects different people differently. Some people recover from the pain in a year while others still feel it after 3 or 4 years have passed. Friends and family ca...

Choosing the Perfect Songs for the Funeral Service

Music isn’t just for parties or festivals, it can also set the right environment at funerals. At Gallagher Funeral Home, we have seen how good music can help grieving individuals, offering comfort ...

Honoring and Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

Dealing with the loss of a loved one isn’t an easy proposition; even when the person is ill or dies of old age and you try to prepare yourself for the imminent grief, when the time comes to deal wi...

A Complete Understanding of Funeral Pricing

Most people don’t know exactly how expensive a funeral can be until they have to actually have to plan and organize one. This entire process requires the involvement of funeral home employees and t...

The Advantages of Working with a Family Owned Funeral Home

If you look online for funeral homes in your local area, you will find there are a large number of establishments. While it’s always good to have a broad choice, that can sometimes make it difficul...